Tag I am it...

I have been tagged by Lex, to meme. I hope I get this right, so here goes...
5 Things in my Freezer
My freezer is full of crap, junk food, so here are a mix of 5
1. 1 /2 bottle of Yager (did I spell that right)
2. Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (hubbies drug of choice)
3. Frozen Veggies (Mixed Bag)
4. Mini Pancakes (the kids love them)
5. Ice (Ha Ha)

5 Things in my Closet
1. Way too many shoes (Did I say that?)
2. Old Lap Top ( I have too many memories to part with her)
3. My bridesmaids dress for an upcoming wedding (very pretty)
4. An unmarked brown box (think what you want)
5. My wedding dress sealed in a box like it should be in a museum (LMAO)

5 Things in my Car
1. 2 Car Seats (that counts as one)
2. Michael Jackson Number Ones CD (I don't care who knows)
3. Spare Tampons (gotta have them)
4. DVD player for the kids (electronic babysitter)
5. Lip Gloss (stashed everywhere)

5 Things in my Purse
1. Wallet (Duh)
2. Lipgloss (again, do I have an problem?)
3. Cell Phone (dead)
4. Lighter (don't dare tell my mother)
5. Digital Camera (Don't leave home without it)

5 Song I Heard Today
This is sad, but I was near a radio all day. :( So here is what I would want to hear
1. Don't stop tell ya get enough - Michael Jackson
2. Have I told you lately - Rod Stewart
3. American Girl - Tom Petty
4. You save me - Kenny Chesney
5. Rich Girl - Hall and Oats

And I'll add one
5 Things you did not get done today
1. Bec's suck for a buck shirt (I started it at least)
2. ALL the laundry
3. Trip to the Mall to return something
4. Enough hugs from Hubby and kids
5. Its past midnight and I just showered, so a shower

HH

This Weekend Is The Light @ The End Of My Tunnel

I know it has been a while since my last post and I apologize. I have had my hands full. Full of Bull Shit! Lets see I told you about the MIL surgery, and that we had to go back to take care of her. PICK ME!! Well, we went back and she was so doped out of her gourd I thought she was retarded ( and I was looking for her pills to share with me). Lets just say that she was one step from drooling and needing a helmet to wear. So, I took care of her that night and things were OK. Then the next day, she was in and out of sleep. More asleep than awake thank God. I would go and check on her when she was awake and take her tea. My Mom said that was just me buying my ticket to heaven. So at lunch time I made her a sandwich and sat with her and she went back to bed. I was in the kitchen and all of the sudden I hear a gun blast! BOOOM!!!! I ran into the living room and found her husband at the front door with a shot gun. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. "I was sitting in my recliner watching FOX news, and I saw a black bird in my bird feeder. Those dam birds eat all the food up." I told him he was crazy and walked away, thinking in my mind that he would not do it again. Stupid me. BOOOM!!! "Dwight" I yelled and ran back into the living room. "What?" he asked. I told him to stop shooting the stupid (I wanted to say fucking) gun. I told him that his wife had just had BRAIN SURGERY and she was trying to rest so stop! Ten minutes later, and I am not shiting you, BOOOOM!!!! I just let it go from there. Hell, if he does not care about her that much why should I? Then that afternoon I heard voices coming from her room. I thought to myself, I did not know she was awake. I went into her room to see if she needed anything, and there was Dwight. He had her sitting up in bed with her laptop, the check book ,and she was on the phone with the bank! Can you believe this man? She also had her head in her hand and was sweating. I walked out and thought to myself, ya know what, I don't want to tell a married couple how to behave, so whatever. On my way out of the room my Hubby called me. I told him all about the situation. (oh, FYI, he was playing golf all day) (Yeah, I said golf) he told me to give him five minutes and then go into the room and save her. Five minutes passed and I went in. I took the phone from her hands & hung it up, closed the computer and checkbook and handed it all to Dwight. He looked at me like I was crazy. MIL said thank you and he asked me what was he gonna do if she was not gonna fix this? This being him bouncing a company check. I told him to get a god dam accountant, and that if I heard that fucking (I said it this time) gun blast again, I was gonna shove it straight up his ass. And that if he was the worried about bird food and not his wife's health that I would go to Wal-Mart and get him some more! He walked out and MIL again thanked me. Later Dwight apologized. But in my mind I am thinking... Am I crazy and everyone else is normal? Or am I in the Twilight Zone? Then I remebered. I am in my MIL's house and everything here is fucked up.

Enough of that. This weekend is my chick Bec's Girls Weekend! I am so so so so excited. I am armed with a cooler, beer, new clothes (booby shirts), pin the dick on the hunk game (I pasted her Hubby to be's head on the Hunk), A Blow Job Kit (Gift for Bec) and other un-mentionable that I will fill you in on later. So watch out Naples here I come.

P.S.
Hubby is responsible for the kids for the first unattended time ever. This should be good! Pray for my kids!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I Claim Workmans Comp For Stress If I am Stay @ Home Mom?

I know I have already posted for the day, but I am losing it and bloging seems to make me feel better, so lets hope this does the trick. MIL is on her way home now. As in this very minute. So the pressure is on to go and do the good children thing. I think I have talked Hubby out of going until at least tomorrow morning, at the most, Thursday afternoon. I am shooting for Thursday afternoon. I swear if that woman was any bigger pain in my ass they would have re-name menstrual cycles after her.>>>>>>>>>"I would love to go to the beach this weekend, but I am on my Susan and bloated. I'll pass" "Honey I know I 've been really bitchey lately, but I've been on my Susan. I'll be off soon and back to normal." "Not tonight dear, I am getting my monthly visit from Susan."

Welcome Home... Not So Much

I was just finally getting nestled in back in my own habitat, when the Hubby called from work this morning. The Maw-In-Law plan was when she came home from the Hospital we would head back. Well she goes home tomorrow!! What the Hell!!!! Yesterday I let the kids wreck the house. I thought that I would have at least two days to make up for it, but no. Now I have to get everything unpacked and washed and repacked by the morning. My work is never done. Is Mother-In-Law like Greek for major f-ing pain in my ass? Or is it Latin for make my life hell? I am going to refer to her from now on as MIL. I don't even want to use the energy to type it all out on her. LOL So I'll just pop some of my Housewife speed (diet pills) and pull up my mommy undies and go for it. One day I am gonna get redemption for this right? So, now I have a list with about 17 things on it that I need to get done today along with keeping my sanity in tact. But I can see the frig light at he end of the tunnel. It's a little dim from all the beer in front it, but I'll make it brighter starting at 5:30 today.

Pray for me, not MIL

Back from Mother-In-Laws Brain Sx

Well, we are finally home after a long weekend of my hubby's darling family and his mother having her noggin worked on. Everything went fine. She is going to be OK. Well, as OK as she was before they went in. Anyone who knows her totally agrees with me and feels my pain. Right after the Sx the Doctor came in and told us that she was OK, and that it could be tomorrow before she woke up. And that if she was awake and talking, that she may not remember anything. So I told him that I would be needing a few moments, closed door, so I could get some shit off my chest. I figured it was the perfect time if she would not remember any of it. But I chickened out. I mean, the risk of calling her the "C-word" and getting away with it was scaring me. So I opted to just harass her in my own "Holly" way. Like before they wheeled her off to the OR everyone was crying and hugging her and telling her that they loved her. I stuck out my hand and said "give me some skin woman, I am not hugging you like your dying or anything." She gave me five and looked at me like I was insane. (which I very possibly could be) Then my Hubby told her "be careful". Now what the hell is she gonna be careful doing? She's not cutting into her scalp herself. I thought that was funny. Then once she got out Hubby asked her if her head hurt. And she said no. I said that it was a good thing cause all we had done to her was to have the toe next her big one cut down so her feet didn't look like bird talons. I swear she has the ugliest feet in the world. Later when her Husband asked me how I thought she looked, I said OK. But asked how come she didn't have her boobs done also, while she was under? I would have. So anyhow, we are home for now. When they let her come home we are gonna go back to Polk County and I am sure I will have a ton of stories from that. Other than Maw-In-Law crap I am cool. My boy turned 2 this weekend so I need to figure out about his b-day party still. Bless his heart he has no idea he even had a birthday. Ya know me Super Mom. Armed with a cake, gifts and clown at a moments notice. OK, not so much. Hubby has been in a great mood lately. Come to think of it... I have been giving it up more than usual lately, so the two are most likley connected. LOL I am so, so, so, excited about the Girls Weekend for my upcoming Chick's wedding. I am so going to need this break by then. Peace out Homie, word to your momma. (Not Momma-In-Law) P.S. Lex the invites are darling!!!

My First Blog

I stumbled across this blog-ing site by accident. One of my friends (thanks Lexi) has one and hers looks way cooler than my "wanta-be highschool" myspace page. I started myspace with the intentions of having a place to document the thoughts and crap in my life. Ya know the good, bad and the ugly of stay at home mommy life. But soon after I thought I was hot shit and slightly in touch with the "hip" world with a myspace page, I found out I was wrong. All my friends kids have f-ing myspace pages and they all looked me up and harrassed me. Then I felt like I could no longer put things about me-me on it. I had to put "Aunt Holly" things. So now I use my myspace page to spy on all my friends kids. At least I got that out if it.

So now I can have this blogger to put grown up things that my friends 11-18 year old kids won't see. Yeah me! Once again I have out smarted the gits.

Anyone who knows me and my family knows that we have been through a lot of shit over the last year. Come to think of it, my life has been crazy since the day I married my hubby. Funny conidence? You be the judge? But things are much better now. I am back home with an awsome house and pool and I lay out about 5 days a week. Topless preferably (why have tan lines if ya can help it). But I have to watch the nehibors roof tops for kids spying. Been there done that. My kids are in a kick ass day care and only go 2 days a week so I can get out of the house some. And our girl is in dance class. Not that she like public attention or anything. Wonder where she gets that from?

We have a full summer ahead of us this year. I have something planned for the next 6 weekends in a row. Hubby's mom is having some surgury this weekend. How much do think it would take to pay the Doctor to wire her so she is normal. J/K I love my Mother in law. Ok not so much, but she is slightly better these days. Fear of dying makes people nice. We have the usual golf tournaments that Hubby plays in every year. I guess thats fun. But it is slowly turning into the same people, the same party, different year. And this year none of the fun wifes are gonna be there that I know of. So that means I get to watch Hubby get drunk and I drive home. Oh well I can take one for the team. Lord knows he has driven me around when I've had too much. (and my girlfriends have yacked in his truck). Other than our boy turning 2 and his huge pool side shin-dig I am planing, I have a wedding that I am in. One of my best girlfriend is getting hitched. I am excited more about the Girls Weekend we have planned, than the actual wedding. It will be so nice to be with the chickies at the water, with no kids or Hubby. I love my family, but even June Cleaver needed a beer, cigiratte, and girltime.