Mid-Life Crisis? Or just the Reality of Life?

My reason for not posting lately is that I hate dial up internet. I just want to throw my computer in the pool. Trying to do something on the internet is comparable to slamming my boob in the car door. I know there is such a thing as highspeed internet, but it is not available in my area. Figures!

Ok, so the title of this blog is kinda deep but it is something I have been pondering lately. Am I having a mid-life crisis? I old enough to have one? What really is one? And is there medication for this? J/K about the meds. (not really) In 8 days I will turn 29. Twenty friggin' nine! I don't really know why this is freaking me out, but it totally is. I remember when I was still living with my parents (age 13-15ish) and ABC had a show on called "30 something". All these actors on the show did was complain about their young kids, spouses and money. I used think, "my god people, get a life!" I remember watching and thinking they are so old an boring. (Now this is when the mid-life crisis comes into play) I think I am living the show "30 something". And I have no idea how I got here. I don't mean that literally. I know I met Dale fell in love, got married, had kids and TA-DA!!! But when did this happen? Lately when I am at the sink washing dishes at 7:00 at night in the same clothes I woke up in, I feel like Alfred Hitchcock is over my shoulder saying "welcome to the zone. The twighlight zone." Or when I am cleaning the same counters for folding the same laundry I feel like Bill Murray in "Ground Hog Day." Where is Holly????

Now don't get me wrong, I love my life. I am truly blessed. I have awesome friends, happy & healthy kids, a husband that is hung like Mr. Ed (sorry for the visual, wonderful parents, and a nice home. I even have a small dog (shout out to Kyndo) But I just don't feel like myself anymore. Is this normal? I don't think I am depressed, just a little lost maybe. I don't have any hobbies anymore or anything that I do for just me. Where is Holly? The cool hot chick I remember being. Granted she slept around a little too much J/K (not really) LOL, but I miss her. Did she grow up? I catch glimpses of her every now and again. (Naples) Recently I was looking at friend of mines pictures online and I realized something. I used to love to take pictures. I would put together collages and loved editing pictures. Where is my creative side? I think I have grown up and now I am just a different person. Not 100% different but definitely changed. And I just realized this. I am full time mommy, and there is nothing like being a mommy. I love being around them all day (most of the time) I love that I am the kisser of boo boos and the cook to their meals that I make in shapes like smiling faces or fish or whatever. I love to hear them laugh and see them smile. And mostly I adore it when they come and find me and hug me first. Hunter does this thing where she hugs her face to mine, cheek to cheek. And she says "your my mommy" in a soft and loving voice. Its her special way of saying I love you. I love when Hayden is tired and runs to me and I pick him up. Then he puts his head on my shoulder, his body goes limp, and she takes a deep breath.

So my question is... Do I like this new Holly & should I feel this way?

As most of you know I have had a crazy life this last year. I am not even gonna get into all of it. But I think that Dale and I have done fairly kick ass considering all the shit. Maybe it is just now catching up with me. I think I like my new grown up 29 year old self. But I think I miss the 23 year old holly also. Maybe I am just rambling on here.... LOL

Oh well I feel better just venting!!

Disclaimer:
This in no way should scare, frighten, or alter ones idea of marriage and kids. This is only my life and experiences. Just keep your happily ever after image. It's much more fun that way!!

Petty & Becca's Wedding

Since I last posted I have had the extreme good fortune and pleasure of attending the Tom Petty Concert here in Gainesville. This is Petty's hometown so it was awesome. Dale and I rented a limo so we could go in Elvis style. Cause ya know that's how we roll. We sat close to the stage and he rocked!! He looked about 100 years old but who cares if he plays like weekend at Bernies, cause he is Tom Fucking Petty! When he hit the stage the place went nuts!!! And he got emotional and said that he has played all over the world and he has never felt the crowd so much. Then he said "I am home" And then I got emotional cause I am now home too. I have been away from home for a about 5 years and I feel so much like myself again now that I am home. I can do and say what I want. Wait... I have been doing that the entire time. My bad! The odder of Pot and BO was a bit overwhelming, but the songs made up for it all.

So other than that, my home girl Bec got married this last weekend. It was wonderful. It truly was. Not just the wedding that was beautiful, but being surrounded by so many great people. I feel like her family and friends are my family and friends. Her mom, sister and her girlfriends I feel so close to. So it was a great and blessed time for Bec, but it was for all of us also. I made a toast for her and Rich at the rehearsal dinner. Side note: at the dinner someone else was wearing my dress. I looked like a million bucks and she looked like a zillion bucks!!! Bitch J/K I was half cocked and smart ass primed, but as a soon as I stood up I became a blubbering idiot! I am not even sure anyone understood anything I said. But I don't care cause I love her and she knows it that's all that matters. One this is for sure about the weekend, my liver is begging for a break!!!

P.S.
My hair for the wedding (I was a bridesmaid) I looked just like Priscilla Presley but blonde!!! I'll post pictures when I get them.

HH

My Summer Fun

I have been having too much fun to Blog. That's a good thing! I have had my days busy lately with going to the beach and getting as tan as humanly possible. Soon I will look like a mexican with blonde hair. Sexy thought I know!!! Mom has rented a beach house for all of this month and I have been taking full advantage of it. As soon as I am done with this blogger I am going again!!! The kids love it and so do we. Hell if ya have to raise kids all day, do it at the beach. Nothing sucks at the beach!
Other than the beach last weekend we went the Toby Keith concert in Tampa. We sat 7 rows back in the center front of the stage!!!!! It was awesome. I could pick his buggers if I wanted to! I know he saw me too. I caught him looking my way more than once. Dale and I were on the big screen 3# times. I could have been my really awesome outfit. I wanted to wear a tank and shorts cause it was an outdoor concert and I knew it was gonna be hotter than hell. But I also wanted to wear something country. This was my first outfit choice... white shorts, brown tank and knee high camo snake boots!!!
But then dale said that it did not look girlie enough. So on the way out of town he stopped at the western store and got me new boots!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! Hot pink cowboy books. I was a big hit. In my own mind at least! I think Dale likes them cause he wants me to do him in them. And I might be down with that.

Off to the beach!!!!

Sorry I have not posted, here is the low down

OK... so I know it has been a month since I have last blogged. And I am sorry for that. I have had crap to do. Like life. I hate it when everyday life gets in my way and I don't have time to f-off. Like if the kids are fed and breathing why do they have to be clean and not dancing on the kitchen table? And if the only towel that is clean is a hand towel, then just drip dry a little first. But I guess that I signed up for this somewhere along the way. I am not bitching, just venting. Petty details like that get in my way of blogging. But I have a moment now so lets catch up...

I was all excited about the girls weekend in Naples with my "Home Girls". It was awesome! I started the weekend out kinda shitty. I got a speeding ticket on the way to Naples. This cock ass cop would not even let me flirt with him. He must have been gay. But is the Sheriffs Office like the military, no gays? It should be cause I had my boobs pumped out and my lips glossed and he gave one shit about either. Then the turd had his name plate up side down!! RETARD!!! Needless to say I have a $250.00 ticket to pay. But once we were in Naples the days were fun and relaxing and the night were wild and crazy. The six foot inflatable penis made everything better. And I met a girl there I had only met once before and didn't really like her the first time. But I gave her a second chance and all was well. Now me and Mary Jane are BFF. No hot guys all weekend. That was a bummer. But when you have a stud, hot like lava man like mine all the others pail in comparison. The weekend rejuvenated me and made me feel like the Old Holly, not Mommy Holly for a minute. And I always like to hang with her every now and again.

The next weekend I went to LW for a Naughty and Nice Bridal Shower again for my Hommie. It was nice again to get away. I think I was the drunkest one there until someone (Em) passed out and then I felt better about my drunkenness. That and Richie Rich and the Wheat Thins box. I would love to explain that one, but I can't. One thing that was kinda weird about the shower was that I was the only chick there not drinking wine. Now, was that tacky? Why am I asking, like I really care if it was. I just don't like wine. I always heard that real women drink beer anyhow. I guess its strange to me cause I feel grown up lately, with the kids and the house payment and the hot ass husband. And then I still feel 23 years old cause I only drink beer. But, I LOVE BEER!!!! So what I said it. It's out and I don't care who knows about it.


Once I was back home again, we started interviewing UF girls for a baby sitting job. We need a dependable chick to be here with the kids so we can go to dinner, gator games, and just have some time away from home. Hubby was 100% excited about interviewing college chicks all day on Saturday. He showered, shaved, shit, dressed in a muscle shirt and sprayed on axe. Needless to say he was pimpin'. At one point during the interviews I thought he was ask for a topless picture. Her boobs were rockin' and he was droolin'. But he did do something that made me want to kiss him all over. He asked all of them them if they were free on Wednesday nights after work. Cause he wants to start having date night with me. AWWWWHHHHHH!!!!! He said we can go to dinner, a movie, or go play golf. I was really sweet, and it made up for him eye fucking the girls all day.

So that is what's up in nut shell. We are going to LW again this weekend for a shower for my Bridezilla Hommie (j/k Home Wrecker)and the wedding is coming up soon. Hubby and I have tickets to go and see Toby Keith in a few weeks, and next month we have Tom Petty tickets. Petty is coming to Gainesville, his home town. He went to high school with my dad @ GHS. So the concert should be rockin' with him back home for the first time in 15 years. Hubby has rented us a limo for the night. I feel like he is Jayzee and I am Beyonce. LOL I can't wait.

Peace Out Hommie.
Word 2 Your Momma.
Pound out Dog!!


HH

Tag I am it...

I have been tagged by Lex, to meme. I hope I get this right, so here goes...
5 Things in my Freezer
My freezer is full of crap, junk food, so here are a mix of 5
1. 1 /2 bottle of Yager (did I spell that right)
2. Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (hubbies drug of choice)
3. Frozen Veggies (Mixed Bag)
4. Mini Pancakes (the kids love them)
5. Ice (Ha Ha)

5 Things in my Closet
1. Way too many shoes (Did I say that?)
2. Old Lap Top ( I have too many memories to part with her)
3. My bridesmaids dress for an upcoming wedding (very pretty)
4. An unmarked brown box (think what you want)
5. My wedding dress sealed in a box like it should be in a museum (LMAO)

5 Things in my Car
1. 2 Car Seats (that counts as one)
2. Michael Jackson Number Ones CD (I don't care who knows)
3. Spare Tampons (gotta have them)
4. DVD player for the kids (electronic babysitter)
5. Lip Gloss (stashed everywhere)

5 Things in my Purse
1. Wallet (Duh)
2. Lipgloss (again, do I have an problem?)
3. Cell Phone (dead)
4. Lighter (don't dare tell my mother)
5. Digital Camera (Don't leave home without it)

5 Song I Heard Today
This is sad, but I was near a radio all day. :( So here is what I would want to hear
1. Don't stop tell ya get enough - Michael Jackson
2. Have I told you lately - Rod Stewart
3. American Girl - Tom Petty
4. You save me - Kenny Chesney
5. Rich Girl - Hall and Oats

And I'll add one
5 Things you did not get done today
1. Bec's suck for a buck shirt (I started it at least)
2. ALL the laundry
3. Trip to the Mall to return something
4. Enough hugs from Hubby and kids
5. Its past midnight and I just showered, so a shower

HH

This Weekend Is The Light @ The End Of My Tunnel

I know it has been a while since my last post and I apologize. I have had my hands full. Full of Bull Shit! Lets see I told you about the MIL surgery, and that we had to go back to take care of her. PICK ME!! Well, we went back and she was so doped out of her gourd I thought she was retarded ( and I was looking for her pills to share with me). Lets just say that she was one step from drooling and needing a helmet to wear. So, I took care of her that night and things were OK. Then the next day, she was in and out of sleep. More asleep than awake thank God. I would go and check on her when she was awake and take her tea. My Mom said that was just me buying my ticket to heaven. So at lunch time I made her a sandwich and sat with her and she went back to bed. I was in the kitchen and all of the sudden I hear a gun blast! BOOOM!!!! I ran into the living room and found her husband at the front door with a shot gun. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. "I was sitting in my recliner watching FOX news, and I saw a black bird in my bird feeder. Those dam birds eat all the food up." I told him he was crazy and walked away, thinking in my mind that he would not do it again. Stupid me. BOOOM!!! "Dwight" I yelled and ran back into the living room. "What?" he asked. I told him to stop shooting the stupid (I wanted to say fucking) gun. I told him that his wife had just had BRAIN SURGERY and she was trying to rest so stop! Ten minutes later, and I am not shiting you, BOOOOM!!!! I just let it go from there. Hell, if he does not care about her that much why should I? Then that afternoon I heard voices coming from her room. I thought to myself, I did not know she was awake. I went into her room to see if she needed anything, and there was Dwight. He had her sitting up in bed with her laptop, the check book ,and she was on the phone with the bank! Can you believe this man? She also had her head in her hand and was sweating. I walked out and thought to myself, ya know what, I don't want to tell a married couple how to behave, so whatever. On my way out of the room my Hubby called me. I told him all about the situation. (oh, FYI, he was playing golf all day) (Yeah, I said golf) he told me to give him five minutes and then go into the room and save her. Five minutes passed and I went in. I took the phone from her hands & hung it up, closed the computer and checkbook and handed it all to Dwight. He looked at me like I was crazy. MIL said thank you and he asked me what was he gonna do if she was not gonna fix this? This being him bouncing a company check. I told him to get a god dam accountant, and that if I heard that fucking (I said it this time) gun blast again, I was gonna shove it straight up his ass. And that if he was the worried about bird food and not his wife's health that I would go to Wal-Mart and get him some more! He walked out and MIL again thanked me. Later Dwight apologized. But in my mind I am thinking... Am I crazy and everyone else is normal? Or am I in the Twilight Zone? Then I remebered. I am in my MIL's house and everything here is fucked up.

Enough of that. This weekend is my chick Bec's Girls Weekend! I am so so so so excited. I am armed with a cooler, beer, new clothes (booby shirts), pin the dick on the hunk game (I pasted her Hubby to be's head on the Hunk), A Blow Job Kit (Gift for Bec) and other un-mentionable that I will fill you in on later. So watch out Naples here I come.

P.S.
Hubby is responsible for the kids for the first unattended time ever. This should be good! Pray for my kids!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I Claim Workmans Comp For Stress If I am Stay @ Home Mom?

I know I have already posted for the day, but I am losing it and bloging seems to make me feel better, so lets hope this does the trick. MIL is on her way home now. As in this very minute. So the pressure is on to go and do the good children thing. I think I have talked Hubby out of going until at least tomorrow morning, at the most, Thursday afternoon. I am shooting for Thursday afternoon. I swear if that woman was any bigger pain in my ass they would have re-name menstrual cycles after her.>>>>>>>>>"I would love to go to the beach this weekend, but I am on my Susan and bloated. I'll pass" "Honey I know I 've been really bitchey lately, but I've been on my Susan. I'll be off soon and back to normal." "Not tonight dear, I am getting my monthly visit from Susan."

Welcome Home... Not So Much

I was just finally getting nestled in back in my own habitat, when the Hubby called from work this morning. The Maw-In-Law plan was when she came home from the Hospital we would head back. Well she goes home tomorrow!! What the Hell!!!! Yesterday I let the kids wreck the house. I thought that I would have at least two days to make up for it, but no. Now I have to get everything unpacked and washed and repacked by the morning. My work is never done. Is Mother-In-Law like Greek for major f-ing pain in my ass? Or is it Latin for make my life hell? I am going to refer to her from now on as MIL. I don't even want to use the energy to type it all out on her. LOL So I'll just pop some of my Housewife speed (diet pills) and pull up my mommy undies and go for it. One day I am gonna get redemption for this right? So, now I have a list with about 17 things on it that I need to get done today along with keeping my sanity in tact. But I can see the frig light at he end of the tunnel. It's a little dim from all the beer in front it, but I'll make it brighter starting at 5:30 today.

Pray for me, not MIL

Back from Mother-In-Laws Brain Sx

Well, we are finally home after a long weekend of my hubby's darling family and his mother having her noggin worked on. Everything went fine. She is going to be OK. Well, as OK as she was before they went in. Anyone who knows her totally agrees with me and feels my pain. Right after the Sx the Doctor came in and told us that she was OK, and that it could be tomorrow before she woke up. And that if she was awake and talking, that she may not remember anything. So I told him that I would be needing a few moments, closed door, so I could get some shit off my chest. I figured it was the perfect time if she would not remember any of it. But I chickened out. I mean, the risk of calling her the "C-word" and getting away with it was scaring me. So I opted to just harass her in my own "Holly" way. Like before they wheeled her off to the OR everyone was crying and hugging her and telling her that they loved her. I stuck out my hand and said "give me some skin woman, I am not hugging you like your dying or anything." She gave me five and looked at me like I was insane. (which I very possibly could be) Then my Hubby told her "be careful". Now what the hell is she gonna be careful doing? She's not cutting into her scalp herself. I thought that was funny. Then once she got out Hubby asked her if her head hurt. And she said no. I said that it was a good thing cause all we had done to her was to have the toe next her big one cut down so her feet didn't look like bird talons. I swear she has the ugliest feet in the world. Later when her Husband asked me how I thought she looked, I said OK. But asked how come she didn't have her boobs done also, while she was under? I would have. So anyhow, we are home for now. When they let her come home we are gonna go back to Polk County and I am sure I will have a ton of stories from that. Other than Maw-In-Law crap I am cool. My boy turned 2 this weekend so I need to figure out about his b-day party still. Bless his heart he has no idea he even had a birthday. Ya know me Super Mom. Armed with a cake, gifts and clown at a moments notice. OK, not so much. Hubby has been in a great mood lately. Come to think of it... I have been giving it up more than usual lately, so the two are most likley connected. LOL I am so, so, so, excited about the Girls Weekend for my upcoming Chick's wedding. I am so going to need this break by then. Peace out Homie, word to your momma. (Not Momma-In-Law) P.S. Lex the invites are darling!!!

My First Blog

I stumbled across this blog-ing site by accident. One of my friends (thanks Lexi) has one and hers looks way cooler than my "wanta-be highschool" myspace page. I started myspace with the intentions of having a place to document the thoughts and crap in my life. Ya know the good, bad and the ugly of stay at home mommy life. But soon after I thought I was hot shit and slightly in touch with the "hip" world with a myspace page, I found out I was wrong. All my friends kids have f-ing myspace pages and they all looked me up and harrassed me. Then I felt like I could no longer put things about me-me on it. I had to put "Aunt Holly" things. So now I use my myspace page to spy on all my friends kids. At least I got that out if it.

So now I can have this blogger to put grown up things that my friends 11-18 year old kids won't see. Yeah me! Once again I have out smarted the gits.

Anyone who knows me and my family knows that we have been through a lot of shit over the last year. Come to think of it, my life has been crazy since the day I married my hubby. Funny conidence? You be the judge? But things are much better now. I am back home with an awsome house and pool and I lay out about 5 days a week. Topless preferably (why have tan lines if ya can help it). But I have to watch the nehibors roof tops for kids spying. Been there done that. My kids are in a kick ass day care and only go 2 days a week so I can get out of the house some. And our girl is in dance class. Not that she like public attention or anything. Wonder where she gets that from?

We have a full summer ahead of us this year. I have something planned for the next 6 weekends in a row. Hubby's mom is having some surgury this weekend. How much do think it would take to pay the Doctor to wire her so she is normal. J/K I love my Mother in law. Ok not so much, but she is slightly better these days. Fear of dying makes people nice. We have the usual golf tournaments that Hubby plays in every year. I guess thats fun. But it is slowly turning into the same people, the same party, different year. And this year none of the fun wifes are gonna be there that I know of. So that means I get to watch Hubby get drunk and I drive home. Oh well I can take one for the team. Lord knows he has driven me around when I've had too much. (and my girlfriends have yacked in his truck). Other than our boy turning 2 and his huge pool side shin-dig I am planing, I have a wedding that I am in. One of my best girlfriend is getting hitched. I am excited more about the Girls Weekend we have planned, than the actual wedding. It will be so nice to be with the chickies at the water, with no kids or Hubby. I love my family, but even June Cleaver needed a beer, cigiratte, and girltime.